settling in for cloudy skies and months of rain

Autumn, mysticism, and enjoying the gloom.

I absolutely love gloomy weather.

The whoosh of cars splashing down the wet pavement.
The impossible, brilliant orange and burning red of leaves turning before they fall.
The pedestrians bundled up in their hats and sweaters and boots walking to wherever it is they’re going unbothered by the light mist of rain that floats down from the cloudy skies overhead.
The geese in the park are ready and exceptionally fat for winter.
The mushroom hunters with their covetous secrecy and empty baskets as they delve into the Northern Cascades to check their haunts now that the rains have returned.

How much easier it is to justify knitting by the window while listening to another fantastically narrated science fiction series.

How much more often it occurs to me to brew a cup of tea and pull out my journal to find myself again within its pages.

How much easier it is to give myself permission to cuddle up with my partner because I’m not afraid I’m missing out on Summer’s sensational antics.

I’ve lived in places without seasons.

The relentless sunshine becomes eerie, colored with too much deja vu.

My relationship with Earth is one intimately defined by cycles.

When summer lasts too long, I find myself yearning for the rain. Desperately.
As the fires engulf the western forests, my mysticism becomes thicker and more alive.
I catch myself wondering what spells or dances or prayers we need to offer for Earth to do what needs to be done.
On behalf of the woodland creatures, the towerings trees, the soil itself - I find myself imploring the Divine and asking Her to hear the dry whispers and worries on our minds.

But it has finally arrived.
The Autumn has come.
Sweetly, gently kissing our skin.
Cleansing the smoke from our skies and the air that we breathe.
Washing the dirt and dust from our stories.
Soaking the roots of our tallest and smallest creatures.

I look forward to watching the mountaintops replenish with snow.
To watching the creeks and rivers rise anew.
To watching our thirsty, yellow-brown fields reanimate after so many months without.

Soon we’ll be steeped in the dripping, vibrant, neon-emerald greens that the Pacific Northwest is so famous for.

I hope I can use this season to choose rest and restoration.
I hope this for you too.

That we mimic the season as it lets go of so many things to recharge and prepare for what comes next.
That we take the time to go fallow and prepare our spiritual soil.
That we give ourselves permission to watch, wait, be, and maybe also to let go.

Spring will come again. As will the bustle of Summer.
But for now, let us be gloomy, sentimental, and rebelliously cozy.

Dive Deeper:

I guess I’m somewhat of a pagan, although that word seems oddly sterile to me. Identities I’ve felt kinship with have fallen more along the lines of green witch, forest witch, hearth witch, or lately sea witch. Witch simply being someone who communes with and feels magic in the natural elements.

I see godliness in the Earth. I revere the paradox, symbiosis, simplicity, and complexity with which Life/Nature organizes itself. I experience our mortality as precious. I think joy and pleasure are sacred. I find myself worshipping the relentlessness of existence and the minutiae of slow living.

The Pagan Wheel of the Year is delineated by 8 festivals. Mabon - or the Fall Equinox - is thought to mark the second harvest and is celebrated with feasts; grounding, rich foods like squash and apples; and giving thanks for the year’s bounty and blessings.

Next comes Samhain. This festival celebrates the end of the harvest and the beginning of winter. It is also celebrated with autumnal, earthly foods, as well as being a time of year to honor the spirits of our dead and remember our ancestors.

Extra Magic:

Autumn also makes me feel more okay with my own melancholy.

Arlo gave me the seasons.

Before him, I did not know which flowers blossomed first in the Spring, or where the raccoons found homes in the Winter.

I did not know who planted the most incredible tulip patches or where the bunny burrows were hidden.

I didn’t know how many secrets and treasures lay within the humble square block beyond my front door.

His absence hits me randomly and at the most inopportune times.

I catch myself listening for his clunky, three-legged gate in the other room but my house remains quiet and empty of other heartbeats. 

I miss his gentle nudges asking for pets and his unapologetic, wheezy snores that always brought a rueful smile to my face. It just never got old.

I’m still at the heart of this choppy storm of grief.

While I know it will come, I don’t yet see the light of the way out.

I wish for more healing faster but know it’s one of those things we humans can’t rush despite how much we wish we could.

Sigh. How do they manage to give us so much uninterrupted love and companionship?

Invitations:

Would you check out my new website?

I am very proud of it. We’ve been working on it for about 4 months and I’m really pleased with the work my team, my web developer, and her team put into it.

I think it’s gorgeous and badass. I hope you pop over, give it a look, and share it with anyone you think could use support with their business or love life!

Little List of Noticing:

1. The Imperial Radch written by Anne Leckie and narrated by Adjoa Andoh is an absolute marvel. If you like imaginative, space-based political intrigue and the exploration of an AI’s moral compass with characters that are intelligent and easy to both love and hate, I highly recommend giving this trilogy a shot. I’m on my second listen-through and loving it even more than the first. Check out the first book - Ancillary Justice - on Libby for free (see next bullet point) or find it on audible here.

2. If you haven’t heard of Libby yet, it is a free app where your local library hosts eBooks and audiobooks that you can “borrow” for free. Even if you don’t have a library card on hand, you can open one through the app. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

3. My love and I recently started watching Alaska Daily on Hulu - starring Hillary Swank and Grace Dove - which explores the importance of investigative journalism and its intersection with exposing broken systems, with a specific focus on missing and murdered indigenous women. I’ve noticed the rise of more and more native tv shows written by, show-run by, and starring native filmmakers and artists. Rez Dogs is also fabulous (and on Hulu) and Spirit Rangers on Netflix looks like it is going to be an awesome children’s show. I love seeing more native stories getting the funding and appreciation they need to take off. I hope you check out at least one of these shows to see for yourself how wonderful they are!