joy is resistance
get after it like a honey badger
A few weeks after the election, I couldn’t stop crying for 2 whole days. The tears would not stop coming. The gravity in my chest was tight and heavy. I couldn’t hold in those wet, little traitors no matter how much I tried.
I had always known that the world was imperfect and that we needed to fight for a better more just future. I understood that people were afraid of change and afraid of things that were unfamiliar. That there would always be a loud minority that would resist the human spirit’s demand for us to become better people and a better society.
But I always trusted that we would fight. That the collective will was one bent inevitably toward justice.
That day was the day my trust in our collective courage to fight for a kinder, better, world finally fractured.
When I started this essay project it was to help myself and others slow down enough to capture beauty and awe in the mundane and to re-tether us to what makes intentional living so nourishing. That practice feels both more difficult and more crucial than ever before.
I have about 4 essays drafted right now with half-explored worries about how hard it is to afford to live, to afford to hope, to afford a family, to afford to relax…
They may or may not make their way to you, but today I need us to reflect on the earth-shifting power of Hope, and how relentlessly willing to be found Hope will be, if you are determined to find her.
Her first nudge came in the form of an email from a valued mentor, Trudi Lebron, outlining how dreaming is a big part of her life and lately, her work, and how “dreaming is a key part of [her] hypothesis about how we live and lead through chaos”. The unlikely successes she’s accomplished all started with her willingness to dream unlikely dreams. As she puts it, “because they were dreams, [she] was able to indulge in the possibilities that [she] had no actual reason to think [she] could have.”
The second came in the form of a touching, timely, and encouraging, season-finale monologue delivered by Michelle Buteau in Survival of the Thickest. I binged all 8 episodes in one evening in an attempt to soothe my fear and aching soul with laughter.
“If I could wish one thing it would be for you to expect more for yourself. To keep your head in the clouds, of course. Because I think when we get older we forget about that. We think life should be a certain way. I hope your wildest fantasies become your truest realities. Because dreaming big, makes life worth living.” - Michelle Buteau as Mavis Beaumont
The third nudge came in the eloquent words of comedian, fashion icon, and queer legend—Alok Vaid-Menon—when they reminded us that finding the humor in dark times connects us to possibility and expansion, and that joy is intrinsic and the capacity to find and feel joy can never truly be stolen from you.
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Dreaming isn’t just pleasant or fun. It’s essential. It’s resistance.
It’s where what comes next all begins.
Many of history’s greatest heroes were people who dared to dream of futures that were impossible in the context of the circumstances they faced.
Martin Luther King Jr. and his compatriots faced a much worse, lived, daily reality. Despite those odds, they transported hundreds of millions of imaginations into a dream where people were celebrated for their character instead of punished for the color of their skin. A dream still decades from becoming realized and yet still powerfully pulling us toward such a future.
No one — absolutely NO ONE — can take away your ability to dream.
Even when they imprison you. Even when they beat you. Even when they strip away your rights. Even when they tear your family apart. Even when they bomb you. Even when they turn entire systems and narratives against you.
They cannot rob you of your inherent capacity to dream.
They will try. Oh, how they will try!
They will try because it terrifies them that they cannot conquer this part of you.
Fortunately for us, the human spirit is anything but meek.
If horrors like colonization, genocide, chattel slavery, internment, and mass execution cannot conquer the human spirit, then we must see our current circumstances for what they are.
Surmountable.
There are many who have come before us who have faced a world hellbent on destroying them and they have refused to submit and be destroyed.
All we must do is look to recent history to see peoples who have defied this erasure — generation after generation of women, stolen and enslaved Africans, Black Americans, indigenous peoples, European Jews, our trans and queer ancestors who have always existed in every corner of the Earth — they and their descendants are all still here. Glorious as ever. Making art. Fighting injustice. Insisting on a better future.
All of these communities have stood against colossal, violent powers that did everything within their power to break their spirits and destroy their cultures… and those powers never fully succeeded.
This is not to minimize the inconceivable harm that has been perpetrated, but to prove that although they come for us, they will never actually succeed.
They will never be able to smother our joy, our art, our music, our thirst for freedom, our will to persevere, our hunger for a better future, our fierce capacity for empathy, our infinite reservoir of love, our determination to resist, or our audacity to dream.
It is here that I have been able to plant my feet. It is here I have found the threads of solace, hope, and access to renewable determination. It is here I can remember to breathe.
You too have this quiet, exultant, limitless power within you.
You too have the inalienable ability to look out at the world as it is and refuse to accept it as fixed.
I dream of a future where people revere nuanced, intriguing education and curiosity. Where we invest the kind of funding into education that currently pours into professional sports. Imagine the minds we would foster with that kind of budget! The artists, leaders, doctors, architects, scholars, and inventors that would result from such a robustly resourced education system!
I dream of a future where everyone is a citizen scientist. Where each child is nurtured as a keen observer of the natural world around them. Where they are just as able to identify the trees, bumble bees, birdsong, and clouds they see as they are their friends at school. So that every day has the potential to feel magical, wild, and deeply connected to a greater living dance and interconnected fabric of Being.
I dream of a future in which elected leaders are once again for the people. Who live by their values, stand their ground, and risk their careers to make the world a healthier, more tolerant, and more just place to exist. Who stand unwaveringly against corruption and interference from corporations and the wealthiest .01%. Who see war as the wasteful, greedy, and unnecessary exercise that it truly is.
I dream of a future where my partner and I feel not only safe but celebrated for who we are and how wonderfully we love. We really are one of the funnest, silliest couples we know!
I dream of a future when people want for others everything wonderful they want for themselves. Where we listen deeply to one another’s hopes and we fervently want for our neighbors what they dream of creating. Where greed is not only poor taste, but that we stop conflating it with “success” or “value”. That the Obsession with More - more money, more power, more business, more houses, more clothes, more likes - is viewed more honestly as the compulsive, extractive sickness that it is.
I dream of a future where it’s the norm, not the exception, for people to become curious instead of closed in the face of discomfort. Where we foster resiliency as a collective value. Where we teach our children and one another to invite the hard, necessary conversations because that is where intimacy and truth reside. Where we are grateful that someone loves, trusts, and believes in us enough to invest in a deeper relationship and understanding of one another.
I dream of a future where empathy, kindness, and courage become the values we strive for and celebrate, instead of ridicule.
It would probably take an entire book to capture all of the futures I dream of. But the most important act is to start.
Like me, you are the sacred vessel of improbable dreams.
Dreams that have the power to define and change entire planets.
Dreams that are designed to endure and heal with ferocity.
What ember of dreaming do you carry within your heart?
What do you see beyond what currently is?
What do you see beyond their threats and weak mindedness?
Wonderful Extras:
If you haven’t watched Buteau-ful Mind or Survival of the Thickest, what are you waiting for?! One is a comedy special and the other is a tv show. Both available on Netflix. They are the smart, fun, comforting comedy we need to make the state of the world more bearable. Michelle Buteau and her team do an incredible job of tying all of our liberation together. She is my hero! Season 2 of SOTT just hit the small screen. I’ll be sewing joy every chance I get cause NOBODY can still that shit!
If you haven’t, or haven’t in a long while, listen to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s national address about having an impossible dream. It is still just as moving.
This week I’m celebrating the culmination of a smaller dream. With the helping hands of two new island friends, we finally built our greenhouse! As a surprise for my birthday last summer, my Honey invited friends and family to chip in to get a small greenhouse to support my love of growing. Thank you to everyone who helped make this little dream come true!
Next, let this song drive you to claim every part of who you are and adore them. Especially the parts that others are trying to devalue, make wrong, and erase. You are spectacular in all your complexity.
Then let this song drive you to dream impossible futures:
Until next time ~
